You didn't really want to buy this piece o' crap Christmas item did you? C'mon, you have to have more taste than that! If you don't want for your Christmas gift to end up in the Goodwill pile, then try giving something or making something from the heart.

 

Artificial Heart

Then again, why not just make a heart. An artificial heart, that is. C'mon McGiver you can do it. All it takes a some chewing gum and bailing wire.