Christmas Trees

Christmas trees are a must for the holiday season, unless you're Jewish or of some other non-Christian or even pagan religion. But, if you happen to be a person who does celebrate Xmas, then a Christmas tree is not only a necessity, but a newly enacted part of Federal law.

The Christmas Tree Ordinance of 2006 states that "All person or persons observing the Xmas holiday season, must to wit and by not chance, purchase and prominently display said Christmas tree upon one's property". Of course, there is an impending Supreme Court challenge to this ordinance of some odd opposition from Diana Ross and the Supremes as well, but be that as it may, having a Christmas tree in ones home is sacrosanct.

Christmas trees comes in several different varieties and types. Christmas trees are usually either Scotch pine, cedar, cypress, spruce, fir or fur trees. The fur trees are actually part plant and part animal and have the added advantage of shedding its winter coat promptly upon the arrival of the new year.

The disadvantage of a fur tree, however, is that they tend to go up in flames more frequently than all-plant Christmas trees and they smell like wet pet when they do. Another advantage of the fur tree is that you can stroke it and pet it and make it purr. Making a fur tree purr, however, may take a little practice.

For those who are purchasing Christmas trees this holiday season, putting up Christmas ornaments is also mandatory. You may also wish to decorate the tree with Christmas lights as well and also throw in some tinsel and a few tin cans for good measure.

Remember, the most important thing this holiday season is to pick out and display a Christmas tree that is far bigger than your neighbor has. Friendly competition is cutting down and displaying Christmas trees will lead to deforestation, which is one of the many side benefits of Christmas.

So, break out the axe and chainsaw this holiday season and go massacre a fine Christmas tree for the whole family to enjoy. Remember, guilt is only a fleeting emotion.