You have no privacy when you're on this site. None. Nada. In fact, I'm watching you right now. Yes, you smile that uneasy smile, but you know that I'm watching you. You're looking around your computer monitor right now to see how this is possible.

Well, since I'm watching you the question I have is why aren't you buying any of our stuff. Come on you lazy, tightwad slacker, buy some of our products. Don't touch that mouse and click off on this page. In fact, you won't even get any privacy if you jump off the Internet right now. In fact, if you decide to turn off your computer, I'll turn it right back on.

I'm watching you, so don't make any false moves.

Anyway, like it or not, this is our deluded privacy policy. Application in some states may vary. Void where prohibited by law.