The services we provide are in two areas: selling Christmas gifts and giving our readers great and wacky Christmas gift ideas that they can try at home under the supervision of a qualified adult. And by qualified adult, we don't mean you. You wouldn't be on this website unless you had a sophomoric sense of humor like we do. No, by "qualified adult" we mean a stoic, overbearing control freak who likes to micromanage things and alienate others. This person usually gets the job done right though, unlike you and I who are silly slackers.